Why Do People Act the Way They Do? Using the Enneagram to Understand Yourself and Others Better
- Marissa Loh
- Jan 27
- 4 min read
Updated: Jan 28
Have you ever wondered why we act the way we do? This question becomes even more complicated when we try to navigate relationships in our personal and professional lives. The Enneagram offers a helpful map, providing insights that can deepen our connections and promote personal growth. In this post, I will explain what the Enneagram is, discuss its advantages compared to other personality profiling tools, and explore how it can improve our relationships and help our true self shine brighter.
What is the Enneagram?
The Enneagram is a personality typing system that provides a framework for understanding the human psyche. There are 9 personality Types with different underlying motivations and fears that drive behaviour. It is a powerful tool for self-awareness, understanding others, and personal growth.
This focus on motivation sets the Enneagram apart because it answers the crucial question of why we act in certain ways, not just what we do. Each Enneagram type carries unique strengths and weaknesses, creating a detailed roadmap for personal development.
A key aspect of the Enneagram is its commitment to growth. Understanding our type and those of others helps us identify patterns that may obstruct our relationships and career success. For example, individuals classified as Type Two, known as "The Loving Person," (that's me!) are motivated by the desire to be loved and needed. They often excel in nurturing relationships, but they may also struggle with setting boundaries.
Why is the Enneagram Better Than Other Personality Profiling Tools?
While various personality frameworks, such as Myers-Briggs and the Big Five, mainly focus on behavioral traits—all of which are useful—these assessments often overlook the deeper motivations behind those behaviors.
The Enneagram delves deeper into emotional and psychological aspects, helping us understand how our personal stories shape our personalities.
Understanding the why behind our actions enhances our emotional intelligence (EQ), something that studies have linked to better relationships. According to a report by TalentSmart, 90% of top performers in the workplace possess high emotional intelligence. By exploring the Enneagram, we can cultivate the empathy and self-awareness necessary for building strong interpersonal connections.
Additionally, the Enneagram is dynamic. Unlike fixed personality types found in other assessments, the Enneagram emphasizes growth and transformation. Each type has a unique path toward becoming healthier and more effective, making it a powerful tool for personal coaching.
How the Enneagram Can Benefit You: Personal and Professional Life
Improved Relationships
One of the most significant ways the Enneagram can enhance our lives is through enriched personal relationships.
When we grasp our own type and the types of those around us, we can forge connections that are not just deeper but also more meaningful.
Instead of being provoked by behavior we don't understand, we start to appreciate that everyone has a unique perspective shaped by their Enneagram type. This awareness allows us to approach conflicts with empathy rather than frustration. It also reduces misunderstandings that tend to lead to resentment and strained relationships.
For instance, if a Type Eight, known as "The Powerful Person," feels threatened, they may start shouting and become aggressive. Understanding this tendency can help others respond more compassionately instead of reacting defensively. Engaging in conversations informed by the Enneagram fosters healthier discussions, preventing misinterpretations.
Professional Development
The rewards of utilizing the Enneagram extend into the workplace as well.
A clear understanding of team dynamics is crucial for creating a supportive work environment.
Understanding each team member's Enneagram type can reveal both strengths and potential challenges. For example, a team consisting of a majority of Type Seven personalities, known as "The Fun Person," brings innovative ideas and high energy. However, they may struggle with follow-through. Acknowledging these traits allows for better project management strategies.
Additionally, when leaders consider the Enneagram types of their team members, they can tailor coaching and management styles to suit individual needs. Research shows that personalized coaching can improve employee satisfaction by as much as 60%, leading to increased productivity.
Personal Growth
Perhaps the most significant advantage of the Enneagram is its capacity to foster personal growth.
Utilizing personal coaching tools based on the Enneagram can help you identify key areas for self-improvement. By gaining insight into your motivations, fears and reactions, you can take actionable steps toward becoming the best and healthiest version of yourself.
Engaging with the Enneagram can also create a sense of community. Knowing that others are on similar journeys allows for shared experiences and deeper understanding.
For example, Type Four individuals, known as "The Original Person," often grapple with feelings of inadequacy. By discussing these challenges within a supportive community, they can receive encouragement and advice on how to transform self-doubt into confidence.
The Path to Understanding
The Enneagram serves as a powerful framework for understanding ourselves and others.
By recognizing how our motivations drive our behaviors, we can become more aware and mindful of our natural tendencies, and engage more productively in our relationships.
Whether in our personal lives or professional settings, the insights gained from understanding the Enneagram empower us to nurture positive connections. This tool not only bolsters our emotional intelligence but also lays the groundwork for meaningful self-awareness and personal development to live our true purpose.
In an often-conflicted world, where misunderstandings abound, the Enneagram sheds light on the deeper reasons driving our behaviors. Understanding our core motivations, fears, and patterns empowers us to break through limiting behaviors and build more meaningful connections.
Correctly identifying your Enneagram type is a powerful step toward deeper self-awareness and personal growth. While traditional Enneagram assessments offer valuable insights, Neuro-Linguistic Enneagram Profiling takes it a step further by incorporating the language of the subconscious mind, providing a more precise and nuanced understanding of your type, together with suggested neuro-actionable next steps you can take to be the change you want to see in your life.
This advanced approach, combined with personalized 1:1 coaching, creates a tailored roadmap for your growth journey, enabling you to live with passion and joy. With expert guidance, you can unlock your true strengths, address blind spots, and transform challenges into opportunities, paving the way for a more connected, fulfilled and empowered life.
Ready to begin your journey of transformation? Let's Connect and start unlocking your highest potential!
Cheers to letting your true self shine brighter!
Marissa
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